Many people say that loving yourself is a selfish thing to do. Some of us have been told this s many times by our parents and other authority figures in our childhood that it is part of our belief system. I say that ONLY loving yourself is a selfish thing. How can you pour from an empty cup? We have all hear this often, in fact every time we travel by air – Put your oxygen mask first before you help your loved ones. In the mind-body realm, not loving yourself is the root cause of many illnesses. To love ourselves, we have to ensure our wellbeing in all aspects, - physical, mental, emotional, relational and spiritual (existential, not religious). A holistic approach is one that deals with the whole person. It takes into account all the aspects of a person – body, mind, emotions, relationships and spirit – and his needs at each level.
Physical Wellbeing
1. Nurture and nourish your body with balanced meals – carbohydrates, proteins and fats. We need carbohydrates for energy. Minimise, if not avoid, simple carbs like bread and pasta. Focus on complex carbs like vegetables, lots of it. Proteins are the building blocks. Vegans and vegetarians have to specially plan for adequate proteins in their meals. Fats had with simple carbs (ghee with paratha) are included in the carbs category. Try and have fats by themselves or with some form of protein. All natural sources of proteins exist with fats.
2. Exercise regularly. In any form that you like – walking, running, cycling, swimming, going to the gym, playing a sport.
3. Adequate rest and sleep, is very important. Do not compromise on that. If you have a habit of using gadgets before going to sleep, and have issues going to sleep, take 15-20 minutes to calm yourself with silence or soothing music. During the day if you feel flustered/ tired, take deep breaths or close your eyes & be silent for a minute or two. You can also try yog nidra.
Emotional Wellbeing
We are never taught to deal with our emotions. In fact, we are taught to ignore them. Don’t cry. Don’t be angry. Don’t be sad. Eve, don’t laugh so much. Emotions are messengers. They inform us about the state of our life and mind.
4. Use the Emotional Wheel (available on the internet) to identify what you are feeling at regular intervals during the day.
5. You can journal about your emotions and find out what triggers them.
Mental Wellbeing
Reflect on your values, assumptions in life, beliefs, attitudes and self-talk.
6. Complete the sentence - I should …………- in at least 3 different ways. Then at the end of each sentence ask yourself Why? And write your responses.
Whenever we use the word “should” we are making ourselves or someone else wrong. Either we were wrong, we are wrong or we are going to be wrong. We want to move away from being wrong and give ourselves a choice. So, let’s change the word should to the word could. The word could gives us a choice. So instead of saying I should,,,,. Stat the sentence with – If I really wanted to, I could……. – and complete the sentence in the same 3 ways as above. Then ask yourself - Why haven’t you? And it’s ok to say - Because I don’t want to.
e.g. I should get up early in the morning. Why?
If I really wanted to, I could get up early in the morning. Why haven’t you?
Relational Wellbeing
This includes having harmonious relationships with your immediate family, extended family, work colleagues, friends and the community
7. Reflect on whether you need to forgive or be forgiven by anyone. Choose someone who is easy to forgive. Remember, forgiveness does not mean condoning someone’s poor behaviour. It is letting go our “stuff” on the situation. And send them loving kindness.
Spiritual Wellbeing
For spiritual growth, we need to have the intention, take guidance from a teacher and practice (sadhana). The ultimate goal, is to live joyously and evolve consciously for a conscious and constant contact with the Higher Self
8. Begin by cultivating healthy qualities like gratitude, compassion, forgiveness, selfless service, oneness, etc.